This list is only about scenes from the original 60s TV series. I am not interested in all the abysmal spin-offs that came much later. They all stink, and not even in an amusing, cute way, but in a true farm-animal-excrement way.
I didn't take cheap shots by pointing out to goofy moments that were intended to be comical, but have focused only on the "dramatic" moments and episodes in which the hilarity is purely unintentional.
Yes, I am a fan of the show, both for its cheerful melt-in-your-mouth cheesiness and for nostalgic reasons. I suppose the original "Star Trek" is the ABBA of television: few people claim them as their own, but their popularity remains high. This is a sort of spoof as much as it is an homage to one of 60s most fun TV shows.
Countdown To The Cheesiest Star Trek Moment
Part II: 50 to 1
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| 50. THE CLOUD MINDERS The bored, badly-fed, paper-thin President's daughter discusses Spock's sexual cycle, and then expresses her wish to have Spock shag the heck out of her. Oh brother... |
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| 49. REQUIEM FOR METHUSELAH Kirk fighting "Methuselah", in this hilariously choreographed punch-kick kirk-fu nonsense - over a damn boring robot girl. (Apparently, he'd already shagged all the Enterprise crew-women, and now wants new blood.) The skirmish is too brief, far too brief for us fans of cheesy action scenes. |
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| 48. ELAAN OF TROYIUS Perhaps a very young Vivien Westwood worked in the costume department. Either way, this Klingon spy killed himself right after sabotaging the Enterprise. Being forced to wear this clown suit may have had a large part in the poor guy's suicide. We never saw this actor again. Perhaps he gave up acting altogether after this nightmarish experience. And then killed himself for real this time. |
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| 47. THE PARADISE SYNDROME Kirk - "Kirok" - becomes an American Indian. He has amnesia, see... The memory loss, however, doesn't seem to affect his skills as an overactor, as can be plainly seen. He still remembers how to do THAT. More overacting, more silly costumes, more goofy crap. |
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| 46. TURNABOUT INTRUDER Kirk (his body taken over by an ex-girlfriend) karate-chops Kirk (inside the girlfriend's body). They switched bodies, you see. That his ex-flame (as Kirk) would be THIS DUMB to attack a woman in front of Spock and McCoy is cretinous. Conclusion? The crew of the Enterprise must be a bunch of morons for needing the usual 49 minutes to outwit such a moronic enemy. |
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| 45. THE GAMESTERS OF TRISKELION Kirk argues with three pieces of jelly - that impersonate advanced brains. So advanced and utterly superior are they to humans that Kirk needs only a few days to dupe them like a bunch of jelly-brains that they truly are. |
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| 44. SPOCK'S BRAIN Spock's brain is missing. Where is it? Perhaps one of the jelly brains in the scene above? Even Kirk can't quite hide the smirk on his face. This was season 3 - the last season - and by this time even Roddenberry was using the series as his personal toilet. |
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| 43. THE OMEGA GLORY Kirk is imprisoned and has to share his cell with a caveman and his cavewoman. A hilarious sequence of fight scenes ensues. Apparently, even cavemen preferred fashion models. |
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| 42. WHOM GODS DESTROY By season 3, Spock had become so dim that he took ages to figure out who the real Kirk is. Any moron can see that the left Kirk is a little taller. Spock, your "logic" is for the bin. At one point I thought he might give them a written quiz. |
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| 41. THE GAMESTERS OF TRISKELION Kirk kisses, then PUNCHES his sweetheart right in the face! A classic moment. |
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| 40. GALILEO 7 Yes, Mr.Spock, that's a large toy-spear you're holding. Don't you feel silly? You little method actor you. |
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| 39. THE ENEMY WITHIN Any scene with Sulu in it has high camp potential, especially when it has him freezing, with a thin shower curtain draped around him. Sillier still, he is stranded on a planet because the ship's transporter is faulty. How about sending one of those small landing craft to pick him up, guys? I guess no-one had thought of that. I suppose Kirk and Spock have better things to do than worry about Sulu catching a cold. |
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| 38. AND THE CHILDREN SHALL LEAD The Enterprise is hijacked (yet again), controlled, and toyed with by a freckled little girl and zit-faced skinny nerd. And it takes Kirk and Spock an eternity to figure out that these kids are behind all the hoopla. Apparently, they'd never heard of evil B-movie space-kids before. When even a bunch of kids can kidnap your ship, you know it's time to retire as Captain. |
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| 37. WHAT ARE LITTLE GIRLS MADE OF? The courageous captain uses a woman as a living shield. Nice going. Did he learn that from Al-Qaeda? |
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| 36. THE ENEMY WITHIN Kirk is split into "good" Kirk and evil Kirk. Here evil Kirk sexually attacks a crew-member. Or was it the "good" Kirk? It's not as if the "good" Kirk is much better... |
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| 35. CATSPAW An alien female is threatening his crew, and as usual Kirk has no real battle plan - so once again he resorts to romantic seduction, like some destitute playboy. It works for around 2-3 minutes until she sees through his obvious deception (or because of his bad breath). |
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| 34. CATSPAW If you wondered what the female alien looks like, here it is, with its male companion. Turns out the alien couple threatening the Enterprise were just two weird-looking tiny marionettes. So this is what Kirk had been kissing all along! He should have asked for a vomit bag when he saw this. |
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| 33. LET THAT BE YOUR LAST BATTLEFIELD The way this guy runs is too goofy for words. This photo only tells a quarter of the story. They forgot to tell him he wasn't shooting a comedy. Or was he? |
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| 32. THE APPLE A blood-thirsty Shiny Happy People male getting ready to kill. |
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| 31. THE APPLE A bloodthirsty Shiny Happy People warrior gets a taste of a kirk-fu martial arts kick. Yet again, Kirk doesn't care where his kick lands. He isn't interested in "guy code" at all. |
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| 30. THE CLOUD MINDERS First Kirk gets duped by the same woman who tried to kill him just hours earlier, and then as a reward for his naivety he gets to wear this damn silly stupid-looking gas-mask. It renders all of Kirk's attempts at overacting useless. Not a scene he enjoyed shooting much, I would imagine. Perhaps a muzzle he should have worn in all his roles. And Nicholas Cage and John Travolta also. |
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| 29. TURNABOUT INTRUDER After Kirk's old flame Lester switches bodies with him, she (as Kirk) attempts to strangle him/her, and says these immortal words: "It's better to be dead than to live alone in the body of a woman". Priceless. I Iove this kind of honest, politically-incorrect, chauvinist stuff. It would be unheard-of these days. |
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| 28. TURNABOUT INTRUDER "But I tell you, I'm Kirk! I'm Kirk!" "You're not Kirk, you silly cow. Now settle down. There's the nice nurse gonna give you another injection so that this dumb switcheroo plot can be stretched for another 30 minutes." |
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| 27. AMOK TIME Amok Spock. Spock bashes a computer monitor. He is in heat and needs to get laid - quick. We've all been there: the ball-sacks are full and blue, and we need it NOW. |
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| 26. GALILEO 7 This is NOT a scene from Robot Monster. This is a caveman, not a monkey with a space helmet. BIG difference. Big big big difference. |
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| 25. PLATO'S STEPCHILDREN Kirk and Spock are forced to dance like utter idiots, when a race of quasi-gods realize that no toy is as funny as a Star Trek toy - and so much better than mere action-figures. |
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| 24. THE WAY TO EDEN Spock has a jam-session with a hippie girl. He's on a harp, she's on a wheel. The writer is on drugs. |
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| 23. TURNABOUT INTRUDER The evil Kirk has a temper-tantrum, giving Shatner another chance to "shine" with high camp. Cursing, screaming, laughing, sweating, shouting, eye-bulging, wall-pounding - you name it, it's all there. |
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| 22. WINK OF AN EYE Male Scalosians are infertile, so their women need to act like sluts and find alien males to have sex with. I'd be infertile too if I dressed like those two effeminate-looking clowns. Stop raiding your women's closets, and start dressing like men for a change! |
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| 21. THAT WHICH SURVIVES Losira: "I am... from this planet." Sulu: "So the planet IS hollow!" I love that. So typical of this episode's plethora of dumb dialogue. |
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| 20. WHO MOURNS FOR ADONIS? A giant hand holds the Enterprise captive. I half-expected that a huge ass would sit on the ship, to replace the hand when it got too tired. |
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| 19. THE WAY TO EDEN When a bunch of dumb hippies, only half-a-dozen of them, manage to outsmart you and start controlling your ship, then you know it's time to look for another job... Kirk, Spock. |
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| 18. PLATO'S STEPCHILDREN Mr.Spock gets to sing in clown attire, while we alternately laugh and vomit. |
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| 17. GALILEO 7 An alien caveman-thing smashes a rock against an Enterprise ship. The fact that they shot this scene from a distance only makes it even more comical. Cute sci-fi of the best kind. |
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| 16. THAT WHICH SURVIVES McCoy: "I wonder what killed him..." Kirk: "I don't know... But something or someone did." That's almost word-for-word identical to the Plan 9 From Outer Space dialogue between the dumb detective and the even dumber cop. |
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| 15. THE SAVAGE CURTAIN If you don't laugh at Lincoln pinning down Genghis Khan on the floor, then you must be in a catatonic stupor. Sci-fi slapstick at its best. |
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| 14. WHAT ARE LITTLE GIRLS MADE OF? Not a cheesy moment at all. I just wanted to put another photo of this hot hot hot hot actress. My list. My rules. |
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| 13. WHOM GODS DESTROY Don't let the bombastic title fool you. This is one helluva dumb episode. An insane-asylum inmate takes Kirk's form, and then starts banging his fists against the floor when his evil plan is foiled - much like a Bugs Bunny adversary would. Shatner didn't mind though; another opportunity to overact. |
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| 12. PLATO'S STEPCHILDREN Kirk is braying like a donkey, while a Roman-Era dwarf rides him. Even the Pythons must be jealous. |
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| 11. A PRIVATE LITTLE WAR The Mugatu is a cross between an overgrown rooster and a female albino gorilla. A guy dressed as an albino of any kind, jumping around and attacking Kirk - it doesn't get any better than this. |
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| 10. A PRIVATE LITTLE WAR The Mugatu makes another appearance, and not a moment too soon. I love this kid. |
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| 9. THE ENEMY WITHIN Is this the Mugatu's little brother? |
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| 8. PLATO'S STEPCHILDREN Spock dances flamenco around Kirk's head. No. Really. He is. |
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| 7. ARENA When a large bipedal lizard grabs one of your legs, the best thing to do is hope that no-one is filming you - coz it might just end up on the Federation's YouTube! |
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| 6. THE SAVAGE CURTAIN If you don't snicker at Lincoln crawling on all fours, trying to sneak up on the enemy, with his ass pointing up, then you are taking this show far too seriously. |
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| 5. THE SAVAGE CURTAIN It gets even better when his ass ends up sticking out as his only body part, behind a large rock. |
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| 4. PLATO'S STEPCHILDREN Kirk is forced to slap himself a half-dozen times repeatedly in the face. It doesn't get any better than this. Truly doesn't. |
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| 3. PLATO'S STEPCHILDREN And because you liked it so much the first time around, and because this is a worthy number 1, here it is again. |
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| 2. PLATO'S STEPCHILDREN And again. |
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| 1. PLATO'S STEPCHILDREN And again. You keep doing that, Shatner, while I look over my other lists. Don't stop. Actually, I'm kidding, I like Shatner. He is a bit of a legend for us B-movie fans. |
For Part 1, i.e. places 125 to 51, go to link:
For a new version of Plan 9 From Outer Space, go to link:
Or to explore the very zany world of UFO bullshit:
